09.30.08
The Most Valuable Question You Can Ask
The Most Valuable Question as you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect.
Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work.
Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
Thomas Edison is reported to have tried over 2,000 different experiments that failed before he finally got the light bulb to work. He once told a reporter that, from his perspective, he had never failed at all. Inventing the light bulb was just a 2,000-step process. If you can adopt that attitude, then you can be free to take an action, notice what result you get, and then adjust your next actions based on the feedback you have received.
Ready, Fire, Aim!
Don’t be afraid to just jump in and get started moving toward your goals. As long as you pay attention to the feedback you receive, you will make progress. Just getting into the game and firing allows you to correct and refine your aim.
The Most Valuable Question You May Ever Learn
In the 1980s, a multimillionaire businessman taught me a question that radically changed the quality of my life. So what is this magical question that can improve the quality of every relationship you are in, every product you produce, every service you deliver, every meeting you conduct, every class you teach and every transaction you enter into?
Here it is:
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the quality
of our relationship during the last week?”
Here are a number of variations on the same question that have served me well over the years…
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate…
· our service? · my teaching?
· our product? · this class/seminar/workshop?
· this meeting? · our date/vacation?
· our performance? · this meal?
· my coaching/managing? · this book/recording/show?
· my parenting/babysitting?
Any answer less than a 10 always gets this follow-up question:
“What would it take to make it a 10?”
This is where the *really* valuable information comes from. Knowing that a person is dissatisfied is not enough. Knowing in detail what will satisfy them gives you the information you need to do whatever it takes to create a winning product, service or relationship.
There Are Two Kinds of Feedback
There are two kinds of feedback you might encounter – negative and positive. We tend to prefer the positive – that is, results, money, praise, promotion, raise, awards, happiness, inner-peace, etc. It feels betters. It tells us we are on course and doing the right thing.
We tend not to like negative feedback – lack of results, little or no money, criticism, poor evaluations, complaints, unhappiness, inner conflict, pain, etc.
However, there is as much useful data in negative feedback as there is in positive feedback. It tells us that we are off course, headed in the wrong direction, doing the wrong thing. This is priceless information!
In fact, it’s so valuable that one of the most useful projects you could undertake is to change how you respond to negative feedback. I like to refer to negative feedback as information for “improvement opportunities.” Here is a place where I can get better.
Ask Yourself for Feedback
In addition to asking others for feedback, you need to ask yourself for feedback, too. More than any other source of feedback, your body will tell you whether or not you are on course or not. When you are relaxed and happy, your body is telling you that you are on track. When you are constantly exhausted, tense, in pain, unhappy and angry, then you are off track.
Take time to listen to what your body is saying to you. Take time to listen to your physical sensations and your feelings. They are sending you important messages. Are you listening?
Remember, Feedback Is Simply Information
You don’t have to take it personally. Just welcome it and use it.
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09.29.08
The Gratitude Campaign
As Monday’s are our Grateful Monday Party here on the G.I.R.L.S. Daily Blog, I stumbled across this amazing campaign called “The Gratitude Campaign” and I wanted to share this with you. It is not sending any other message then- be grateful for what we have, and be grateful to others who impact our lives directly and indirectly.
Scott Truitt, FOUNDER of The Gratitude Campaign explains how he started this campaign:
“For the past several years as I’ve been traveling around the country, I’ve been approaching Soldiers in airports and thanking them for serving for us. On several occasions I have noticed that it felt a little awkward for both of us. There are several reasons, some of which I am even just now learning as I produce this film and talk to more Service Men & Women and Veterans. But they have always appreciated being thanked, and I have always felt better having expressed my gratitude.
I started to think that it would be nice if civilians had a gesture or sign that they could use to say “thank you” quickly and easily without even having to approach. I did some research and found the sign that we are now using.
Is this limited to the military? Not at all. If you look around you I’m sure that you’ll find lots of people who are serving their communities, from local to global. If you appreciate their service, give them a sign. Say “thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
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09.26.08
When Success is Slow, What Can You Do?
Pop Quiz: Can success be sped up? Is there an antidote to slow outcomes despite arduous planning and actions taken? What is the secret for seeing huge results right now?!
I get versions of these questions frequently from people who feel frustrated at sluggish progress in their success journey – despite all the know-how and principles they rigorously employ.
But first, let’s get one thing straight…
When we admire someone else’s success, or even our own, we often focus on the end result and not so much on the effort, time, discipline, and setbacks that it took them to get there.
This can often cultivate unrealistic expectations and frustrations, especially the idea that overnight success can happen through careful strategy and execution of sound advice.
Truth be told, success typically follows a series of little events and achievements that include a few disappointments along the way, which challenges everything about you to the core–your stamina, courage, integrity, and even your willingness to keep going.
If you focus on what’s not working, guess what: You’re likely coming from a place of aggravation as your mind wraps around all that is wrong. You may even have negative thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “It will never work,” or “Something must be wrong with me.”
What this does mentally is engender more of these counter-productive feelings. And given what we know about the Law of Attraction, you attract what you are feeling. Negative experiences, people, and results will beget more negative experience, people, and results. There’s not much success in that.
The key, then, is to focus on what IS working.
To do so, I recommend two simple practices: journaling and meditation.
Maintaining a journal (I call it an Evidence Log, Results Journal, or Gratitude Journal) is a great way to steer your attention to the positive and it helps to continually renew your vision for yourself. Start each day with reflections on what you are grateful for in your life (list them out!) and end each day with notes on what went right (again, write them down), however small.
Meditation (prayer or quiet time) can be a powerful tool for arriving at solutions to problems and shifting your attitude so you can attract success sooner rather than later.
Okay, let’s say you’re doing ALL these things,
but you still aren’t happy with your results…
Then, I’ll ask you: Are you taking real ACTION? You may be taking the actions you are used to taking. But therein lies the problem: if you keep doing what you’ve already done then you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten. It’s a matter of practicing some new behaviors. Shake things up a bit and see if you can take new actions or modify existing ones.
Remember the Rule of 5. Every day do five specific things that take you toward your goal. Change up the five actions regularly and be open to feedback so you know when you’re off course.
Lastly, I want to remind you about patience.
It’s natural to underestimate how long a certain goal can take, especially a profound one. When I set a goal to become a millionaire, the year was 1983. How long did it take? Eleven years. It took time for Chicken Soup for the Soul to hit the bestseller lists. You could say our tenure on the New York Times list was more than a decade in the making. That’s a lot of patience for someone who initially wanted overnight success.
So, yes, patience is a virtue. But keep at it, and in time, you’ll be only one week, or one day away from your ultimate success.
Remember… be grateful, reflect on what IS working and continue to take ACTION!
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09.25.08
Is Your Vision Authentic?
“It is usually the imagination that is wounded first, rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.”~ Henry David Thoreau
Today we are focusing on the Power of Your Imagination according to an article by TQ Thinking.
Are the images that are coming from your imagination crystal-clear or fuzzy and out of focus?
What can you do to sharpen the image?
Napoleon Hill said “First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.”
Again, study both of our leading quotes.
Imagine you are in the same room with Thoreau, sitting in front of his fireplace, looking out at the lightly falling snow over Walden Pond. He turns to you and says, “You know old friend, I have come to the conclusion that it is not your heart that is broken, it is your imagination that is causing you so much pain… it being much more sensitive.”
You nod your head in the affirmative and ask him what you should do about it. He opens his brand new copy of Think and Grow Rich that he ordered from Walden Books dot bricks a few days earlier… pages over to page 128… and says, “Here’s what my dear friend Napoleon Hill advises us to do… ’stop the scattered thinking… organize our thoughts into plans… then transform our plans into reality…’ Sounds like pretty good advice to me, but what do I know? Have you checked with my good buddy, R.W. up the lane?”
“No, I haven’t had a chance, Doc” you admit. “I thought he was off writing some Emersonian Thoughts and Observations, and hasn’t been back into the woods for awhile now.”
Doctor Dave, as he had become known back then for his propensity to advance extreme views on the environment, nodded his head knowingly and carefully puts the book on the little table by his chair. He says, “That just about sums it up, doesn’t it?”
As the snow starts to whirl around the path leading to Dave’s cabin, you give him that big bear hug you are known for and say, “Thanks Dave, I needed that! Say hello to Napoleon for me when you see him next and give R. W. (Ralph Waldo) a big hug too!”
You walk down that snowy little path, all warm and aglow, knowing that you had just received the keys to the most wonderful future you could even imagine!
Today know that your imagination controls your future! Believe it!
If you want a highly successful future, nourish your imagination.
It is as simple as that.
Do you take time every day to imagine how terrific it will feel when your goals are actually realized?
Remember, it’s impossible to keep striving for something for which you no longer have any feelings.
The more you stay in touch with the rewarding experience, and positive feelings that each goal delivers, the more motivated and committed you’ll be to continue the pursuit. Each time you get in touch with the emotional benefits your goals produce—even in your imagination—you’ll feel energized and enthused to continue… regardless of the distance to the goal.
This is so true even while we are in our “30 Days To Live; A Life Of No Regrets Challenge” what are you imagining for yourself? What do you see in your minds eye that you want to accomplish?
You can do it; all you have to do to take the first step is to imagine it happening right now!
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(Make sure and get your free copy of “Think and Grow Rich“)
09.24.08
Expect Little – Get Little
“The world is full of abundance and opportunity, but far too many people come to the fountain of life with a sieve instead of a tank car… a teaspoon instead of a steam shovel. They expect little and as a result they get little.” ~ Ben Sweetland
Read over Today’s Quote a couple of times. How does it apply to you? Are you approaching life with great Expectations—or are you caught up in the cycle of expecting little and getting even less in return?
So that we are all on the same page, read the definition of what it means to EXPECT that your goals will in fact materialize… rather than just work hard, wish hard and pray that what you want will happen—when you want it to happen. According to American Heritage Dictionary:
Ex – pec – ta – tion (n) To look forward to the PROBABLE occurrence or appearance of someone or something; To consider LIKELY or certain; To anticipate CONFIDENTLY.
What are the key words in the definition of an Expectation? Probable… Likely… Certain… Anticipate Confidently.
You bet! These words are decidedly different from Hopeful… Wishful… Fuzzy… Possible. Right?
The answer is simply this: There is a HIGH probability of success BECAUSE this picture-perfect DESIRE was turned into a crystal-clear EXPECTATION.
So what does all this mean? Well according to TQ Thinking ask yourself if your goal or want is highly LIKELY rather than just another run-of-the-mill WISH. If it is highly likely this goal can be achieved, then follow it up with the attitude that it WILL happen! Next set specific goals and plans to put your dream into action! (Need help in setting goals and plans to make your dreams happen? Check out the “New You” Series)
This is a great way to help you as you are moving forward in our “30 Days to Live; a Life Of No Regrets Challenge.” Setting the goals and taking the steps necessary is what will help you to do what you have always wanted to do.
I would love to hear how you have been using your 30 Day Challenge, contact me and let me know.
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09.23.08
Focused In The Right Direction
“So many worlds, so much to do, so little done, such things to be.” ~ Lord Alfred Tennyson
As we are in our “30 Days to Live; A Life of No Regrets Challenge” we have been focused on “Living Passionately” and “Living the Dash” and paying attention to what it takes to realize our aspirations. Ladies if we have a strong desire to achieve our goals and dreams, coupled with an unwavering belief that we CAN, we will find true and lasting success. When we talk about living passionately, we often think that it applies to someone else not us, or we “will get to it someday.”
Ladies it is “Time To Dream…”
This week take some time to renew your God-given right to dream!
Remember, you have the opportunity to make your dreams real to actually LIVE the life you desire. That is what this 30 Day Challenge is all about; Living, really living your life! Doing those things you have put off for one reason or another.
The key is to turn your dreams into GOALS… your goals into PLANS… and your PLANS into specific ACTIONS. We have talked about this so many times. THIS is the action plan on getting the life that you so desire. (See the “New You” Series for more specific steps on how to know what to do about the fear that is holding you back from what you want!)
When setting your weekly goals, make sure at least one of them will bring you a step closer to your life’s vision.
Huge accomplishments in your life are the direct results of smaller, daily ones.
Does your current schedule contain steps that will get you closer to your vision? If not what steps do you need to be taking so that you can “Live Passionately?”
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09.22.08
So Much To Be Thankful For
As usual today is our Grateful Monday Party here on the G.I.R.L.S. Daily Blog. And today as I was looking around the net, I found this video from Josh Groban’s song “Thankful” and I just had to share it with you!
Take the time today to really think about what is going on in your life, and think of all the things you have to be thankful for. Even now when our newscasters remind us daily of what is going on in our world we must really keep ourselves focused on those things we have to be thankful for.
So my challenge to you today, as it is on each Monday, is to use the entire day today to think of the things that you have to be thankful for. Really really focus on those things today.
And this week we are continuing in our “30 Days To Live; A Life Of No Regrets Challenge!” and you can still join us!
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09.19.08
What Was Your GREATEST Ambition Achieved?
Let’s look at the truly LONG view of your life. Let’s say you are 127 years old and telling your family goodbye and you are heading out to a seminar on high-achievement for the aging seniors! Looking back to today…
What Was Your GREATEST
Ambition Achieved?
Really think about this question today. We are living passionately this week on our “30 Days to Live; A Life of No Regrets Challenge.” I want us to take the biggest step we can in the direction of our dreams and goals. Remember a goal is something beyond where you are. If you want to get from here to your goal, you must take the steps required to get there. Goals don’t just automatically “happen.” If you want the goal, you have to do the work. You have to take action to even when living passionately.
There are ways to help us to stay on track. Keep Your Eyes On The Prize. Never let a day go by without giving some attention to your goals.
Step # 1: Set your goal.
Step # 2: Make a plan.
Step # 3: Follow through.
“In life, as in football, you won’t go far unless you know where the goalposts are.”
~ Arnold H. Glasgow
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09.18.08
There’s No Time Like The Present
If you can’t complete an entire task at one sitting, at least get started, whether you have 5 minutes or 5 hours. Many tasks can be completed a little at a time, but only if you get started right now according to TQ Thinking.
Some progress is better than no progress. Take some baby steps towards completion today.
Today’s Questions to ponder:
What’s next on your list? Or what do you have on your “30 Day Challenge List” that you have yet to start?
How much can you finish if you never get started?
What task have you been avoiding that one small step could be taken on today?
As we are in our “30 Days To Live; A Life Of No Regrets Challenge” these are great questions to ask ourselves. We now are in week 3 of this challenge, and tonight at 9PM EST (Adjust to your time zone) we will be coming together on the phone to discuss how we have been “living passionately” this past week and also moving on to the next level. So join us and invite a friend, they will thank you! Call 218-486-7200 ~ Pin Code 964822
Today take the time to write in your “Success Journal” the answers to the questions above. They will help you to take an assessment of where you are in your life, and where you need to make some changes in order to get where you want to be.
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09.17.08
The I Can’t Funeral
Ladies as we are learning to “Live Passionately” this week on our “30 Days to Live; A Life of No Regrets Challenge” I was thinking about why we do not always live passionately, why we don’t always live the dash. Then I started to think about how the human mind works. The “mind chatter” that is always running around in our heads telling us why we can’t get something accomplished instead of why we can. As we are taking this 30 day challenge it is VERY important that we stop the negative mind chatter and the I can’t’s and think of ways that we can accomplish our goal – no matter what it is. Thursday September 18, 2008 at 9PM EST we will be joining together on our weekly phone discussion once again. I encourage you to set your mind to join us. Call 218-486-7200 ~ Pin Code 964822.
I want to leave you with this awesome story on “I Can’t” and maybe today let’s pay attention to how many times we say those words and stop ourselves from living the life that we have always wanted.
The I Can’t Funeral
by Author Unknown
Donna’s fourth grade classroom looked like many others I had seen in the past. The teacher’s desk was in front and faced the students. The bulletin board featured student work. In most respects it appeared to be a typically traditional elementary classroom. Yet something seemed different that day I entered it for the first time.
My job was to make classroom visitations and encourage implementation of a training program that focused on language arts ideas that would empower students to feel good about themselves and take charge of their lives. Donna was one of the volunteer teachers who participated in this project.
I took an empty seat in the back of the room and watched. All the students were working on a task, filling a sheet of notebook paper with thoughts and ideas. The ten-year-old student next to me was filling her page with “I Can’ts”. “I can’t kick the soccer ball past second base.” “I can’t do long division with more than three numerals.” “I can’t get Debbie to like me.” Her page was half full and she showed no signs of letting up. She worked on with determination and persistence. I walked down the row glancing at student’s papers. Everyone was writing sentences, describing things they couldn’t do.
By this time the activity engaged my curiosity, so I decided to check with the teacher to see what was going on but I noticed she too was busy writing. I felt it best not to interrupt. “I can’t get John’s mother to come for a teacher conference.” “I can’t get my daughter to put gas in the car.” “I can’t get Alan to use words instead of fists.”
Thwarted in my efforts to determine why students and teacher were dwelling on the negative instead of writing the more positive “I Can” statements, I returned to my seat and continued my observations.
Students wrote for another ten minutes. They were then instructed to fold the papers in half and bring them to the front. They placed their “I Can’t” statements into an empty shoe box. Then Donna added hers. She put the lid on the box, tucked it under her arm and headed out the door and down the hall.
Students followed the teacher. I followed the students. Halfway down the hallway Donna entered the custodian’s room, rummaged around and came out with a shovel. Shovel in one hand, shoe box in the other, Donna marched the students out to the school to the farthest corner of the playground. There they began to dig. They were going to bury their “I Can’ts”!
The digging took over ten minutes because most of the fourth graders wanted a turn. The box of “I Can’ts” was placed in a position at the bottom of the hole and then quickly covered with dirt. Thirty-one 10 and 11 year-olds stood around the freshly dug grave site. At this point Donna announced, “Boys and girls, please join hands and bow your heads.” They quickly formed a circle around the grave, creating a bond with their hands.
They lowered their heads and waited. Donna delivered the eulogy.
“Friends, we gathered here today to honor the memory of ‘I Can’t.’ While he was with us here on earth, he touched the lives of everyone, some more than others. We have provided ‘I Can’t’ with a final resting place and a headstone that contains his epitaph. His is survived by his brothers and sisters, ‘I Can’, ‘I Will’, and ‘I’m Going to Right Away’. They are not as well known as their famous relative and are certainly not as strong and powerful yet. Perhaps some day, with your help, they will make an even bigger mark on the world. May ‘I Can’t’ rest in peace and may everyone present pick up their lives and move forward in his absence. Amen.”
As I listened I realized that these students would never forget this day. Writing “I Can’ts”, burying them and hearing the eulogy. That was a major effort on this part of the teacher. And she wasn’t done yet.
She turned the students around, marched them back into the classroom and held a wake. They celebrated the passing of “I Can’t” with cookies, popcorn and fruit juices. As part of the celebration, Donna cut a large tombstone from butcher paper. She wrote the words “I Can’t” at the top and put RIP in the middle. The date was added at the bottom. The paper tombstone hung in Donna’s classroom for the remainder of the year.
On those rare occasions when a student forgot and said, “I Can’t”, Donna simply pointed to the RIP sign. The student then remembered that “I Can’t” was dead and chose to rephrase the statement. I wasn’t one of Donna’s students. She was one of mine. Yet that day I learned an enduring lesson from her as years later, I still envision that fourth grade class laying to rest, “I Can’t”.
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